The Truth You Already Know
by rosehustle1
Summary: Rumpel learns a few new lessons about himself from Neverland version of Belle. Dream quest. Belle as a spiritual guide.


It was a hazy night on the island. The fireflies scattered across the skyline as the shadows swam through the ominous clouds. It was too humid. It was too quiet. Rumple knew that it was only a matter of time before he was forced to make a fatal decision, one that would cost either him or Henry their lives.

Sitting up against the palm tree, Rumple looked out over the jungle. He could sense the Charming family, Regina, and Hook on the east end. They were finally getting somewhere it seemed.

"They may have gotten further if you had helped." A soft accented voice said.

Turning around slowly, with his hand in striking pose, Rumple was shocked to see Belle standing before him.

"It can't really be you…there's no way."

"I'm here because you wanted me to be here. You're in between the waking and sleep realms right now. Remember, you placed yourself in a soul meditation in order to understand your next move?"

Rumple stood up and walked toward the Belle-like figure. "You are just a conjuring of my own mind. You are my guide for this journey."

She smiled and opened her cloak to reveal a small frightened boy clutching her waist.

"Who is that?"

"Rumple, you have seen his face before. Look closer and you'll remember. He's very scared and needs some coaxing."

Rumple bent down on his good leg, out of habit, and leaned closer to the child. The boy's face was turned toward Belle's skirt.

"Lad, it's alright. I won't hurt you. Please, let me see your face."

Belle smiled sweetly and gently patted the boy on his head. The child's body began to relax. Slowly, the child turned around. Rumple's eyes widened at the sight. The child had no face. A dark void existed where a visage should have been.

"I don't understand."

"This is how you saw yourself as a child. This is how you still view yourself."

Rumple watched the child turn around once again and hide in Belle's cloak.

"I don't have a face? Does that mean I don't feel as though I am really seen or…"

"You think that people only see nothingness when they see you. You have never believed you were anything. Nothing is all you thought you had to offer, that and darkness."

The Belle figure walked closer to Rumple and gestured for his hand. He shakily grasped her hand with his own.

"I am here to show you how wrong that belief truly is. Follow me."

They had ventured to a waterfall on the lower end of the island. Rumple couldn't really remember how they got there. The meditative state he was in truly made it difficult for him to discern time.

The Belle figure slowly began to undress until she was wearing only a white shift. Rumple watched on in quiet wonder at the perfect likeness this persona had of his Belle.

"You should change your wardrobe too. We need to go into the water to understand the rest."

"But if this is merely my mind's journey then I would not really get wet."

She smiled and drew close. "Everything will feel real because on this level of existence it is still real. You should know better than anyone the varying depths of consciousness. You may not get hurt or die in this space but you will feel warmth, cold, pleasure, and pain."

He nodded in agreement and slowly worked his way out of his dragon hide outfit until he only had his britches on.

The Belle-figure smiled again and clasped her hands in his.

"We need to jump off this cliff straight into the fall. Hold on the entire time and then we can begin."

He wanted to argue with her and take the lead in this situation, because it was a role he was familiar playing. Instead Rumple nodded his head in agreement. On the count of three, the two plunged into the flowing water.

He jumped up taking in a gasp of air that never came. He felt for sure that he had just been submerged but now it was as if it never happened. He was on land. Rumple stood up and tried to get a grasp of his surroundings.

"This looks somewhat like the village where I grew up, but there's a wooden bridge in the distance that looks to be from my time with Milah."

"Yes. You are correct. This land represents every place that has had been significant to your soul's journey. Look past those trees and you'll see the garden of the Dark Castle, and a little up that hill you'll find the pink Victorian house you shared with Belle."

"Why am I in such a place? I already know the importance of each memory."

The Belle figure gestured for him to walk beside her down a dirt path.

"You sometimes have to relive certain memories to see all the pieces. You leave out things. Naturally, the mind can only take so much at a time and has a need to protect itself. Now we will see all those pieces that were hidden from your mind's eye."

It seemed that the first piece was slowly revealing itself as Rumple suddenly saw a twenty-year-old version of himself running down the dirt path. He knew why this version was running and for once it was a happy reason.

"Rumple, that's not fair! You ran before I counted to three." A light feminine voice yelled from the hill before racing over to her companion.

"Who is she?" The Belle figure asked.

Rumple smiled at the scene before him. He saw himself sneaking up behind the long haired brunette as she unknowingly walked past him. The young Rumple suddenly grabbed her waist. The girl shrieked in surprise and then turned around to playfully smack him before accepting his kiss.

"She was my first love. Her name was Daphne."

"She's very pretty, Rumple. Why did you two never marry?"

Rumple watched mesmerized at the memory of the day that Daphne and he made love and promised to be together forever. He had proposed to her as they lay naked against the wildflowers. He made her a ring from a stem. She said yes and everything seemed perfect. She was the only one to truly care about him until that point. His aunts were too old to be very involved in his life and his friends were few. The father that he thought loved him had left long ago. When Daphne moved with her aunt and uncle to the small village, she and Rumple became instant friends. It was only a matter of time before they started to look at each other with eyes full of passion as well as friendship.

"She got very ill. The plagues came through the village and she did not make it…I tried everything to save her. I even went to an old witch on the edge of the woods. If I knew then what I know now, I would have left her makeshift potion of onions, garlic, and rutabaga and went to a true mage."

The young Rumple was whispering in Daphne's ear. She giggled in response.

"I think that my uncle would be very upset, Rumple. Running off together before a proper wedding…well, let's just say he would have you by the short hairs."Daphne said as she moved to lay her head against his chest.

"Aye, you're right. At least I know that your aunt and uncle like me. They've always been really nice whereas others…"

Daphne kissed his chest lightly. "Others aren't worth thinking about, Rumple."

Rumple turned away from the loving scene and kicked a nearby tree.

The Belle figure walked behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why do you blame yourself for not knowing how to help her? You were only a young man then. You were only human. You were scared and desperate…"

"Exactly, I was a stupid desperate soul. I should have just sat with her in those final moments instead of wandering all throughout the enchanted forest looking for a magic cure…I wasn't there when she passed."

"Oh, I see. That is why you felt such a tremendous grief over Milah."

Rumple turned around. "I felt no grief when I crushed her heart. I was avenged." He said with sharp teeth gleaming. The Belle figure leaned forward and held his head in her hands. He flinched but allowed her to touch him.

"When you thought she had died at the hands of the pirate you felt desperate and scared. You felt that, once again, you didn't do enough to protect the woman you always wanted to be brave, and you think you failed both times." The Belle figure leaned her forehead against his, and he relaxed into her touch. She was so much like Belle he just couldn't help himself.

"I did fail. I could have done more. I could have died…"He said echoing Milah's past words.

He was crying now and the Belle figure held him tightly against her body.

"But your death would not have erased the pain nor would it have served any good purpose. Without your existence there would have been no Bae or Henry. Those two beautiful and good boys would never have known the love that can exist despite all the pain."

He looked at her then and pulled her closer. "I wish you were really here."

"Until you see her again, I will try to be what you need. I am your guide for a reason. Come, let us move along." She said as she pulled gently from his embrace. "There are more memories to be seen."

It didn't take long before they transported to a dining room. The furniture was hand carved and very ornately detailed. Rumple recognized the room as being in the Dark Castle.

"What memory is this?"

"You'll see in one moment."

It was then that Belle entered the room and began placing down the tea cups and arranging the cookies. Rumple was following behind her watching her work.

"Belle today is your birthday." He said as he stood by the nearest window. Belle looked up from her task and gasped in surprise.

"How did you know? I had nearly forgotten myself." She said as she walked over to stand in front of him.

"I am the Dark One. I can pick up on things."

Belle smirked at his smugness. "So, then, how old am I?"

He pretended to be thinking when he suddenly magicked a small chocolate cake out of thin air. The number 25 was written in silver icing.

Belle clapped at the reveal and Rumple bowed.

"You two looked very happy that day." The Belle-figure said.

Rumple nodded sadly and walked closer to the memory. "A week later she would kiss me and everything would be ruined."

Rumple sat down in one of the chairs and watched as the memory version of him cut a slice of cake for Belle.

"Do you look at this memory with fondness or regret?" The Belle figure asked as she sat next to him.

"Both. I honestly don't know why I could never foresee Belle in my future. Maybe if I had known how true and unconditionally loving she always had been toward me, then I would never have pushed her away. She would never have been captured by the queen and for twenty-eight years we would have been together, cursed, but together…For so long I mourned her death. Now she's going to mourn mine."

The memory faded away and the island was all around them again.

"Why do you accept this prophecy so easily?"

He looked up and found that the Belle figure was holding what looked to be his dagger.

"Because it is fitting that I should die to save my grandson after all the pain I have caused my own son."

"What is just about leaving Belle without her true love? What is fitting about leaving Henry without his grandfather? And what of Bae?"

He turned sharply at the figure. "You know he is dead!"

She merely smiled and shook her head.

"He isn't. He was hurt but he survived. He is in the Enchanted Forest."

He stalked toward her. "You don't know that. I don't know that."

"Rumple, you know. For hundreds of years you knew you would find your son and that he would be alive. That feeling is still within you. You were sad and angry earlier, but you're clear-headed now. You can still feel his life energy. You've been feeling it since you came to Neverland."

"It can't be true. There is no way…"

The Belle figure pulled him to her in an embrace. "Use the globe and you will see."

Then the world around them shifted again and all was light. Rumple opened his eyes to find that it was morning on the island. He remained at his spot against the palm. The meditative journey had been more intense than he ever imagined. He could still remember the rose smell that lingered on Belle's cloak and the gentle way she held him. It felt so real but more than that it was real. Bae was still alive. It was a feeling that had gotten stronger over the last few days on the island but Rumple had believed it was merely false hope. Now, he knew it was true. Somehow Bae had survived and landed in their old world. This meant that he needed to save not only Henry but find a way to get his son back. For the first time in days, Rumple knew that he would not die on this island. He would save them and then return to his love. The globe would show him the way and from there he would make things right.


End file.
